a deep sleep

at night, you enter me
(fully, forcefully, blindly,
but with intent)

just to see me
just to feel me
just to grab onto me
just to hurt me

and, I’m only here to serve one purpose:

You.

We lock eyes,
even though I can’t stand to look at you.

We share breaths,
even though I can never seem to find mine.

We touch lightly,
even though it burns to be near you.

And, then I wake still bound to your nightmare;
paralyzed eternally by unanswered questions
and the deep sleep you’ve put me in.

You are the chemical dependence I can’t let go of
and as long as I keep my eyes closed, that is where you’ll stay:

trapped inside this hopeless delusion I’ve constructed.

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